Preparing to Serve

My husband and I have made the decision to submit our papers to serve a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That single sentence represents a huge leap of faith and complete shift of the focus of my life. For most of the 32 years we have been married, we have talked about "Someday" going on a mission. Somehow, though, I always thought it would be AFTER I was done with my career. Here's the catch. My husband is 12 years older than I am. By the time I am 60, he will be 72. We just don't want to wait that long, recognizing that with each passing year his chances of being strong and healthy are a bit less assured. We want to go now when we have the ability to travel where ever in the world the Lord might send us and the stamina to do the work that is asked of us. We've talked about it a lot. We have prayed about it. It just feels right. Now is our time. Granted, I can think of any number of reasons NOT to go, or at least not to go right now. It does not make "logical" sense. To my non-member friends and family, it appears somewhat irresponsible to forfeit the work I am now fully immersed in. But we have a different measure of success. Yes, leaving at this time will mean we will tap into our retirement savings several years before we had planned to. It means we will have less of a parachute for the future. We also will miss out on time spent with our grand kids who are very precious to us. However, we are ready to put those considerations aside and just GO. After most of my adult life having been spent in "take charge" mode, running organizations, planing events, accomplishing things well recognized by the world it is a huge switch to release all that and submit to a "Thy Will Be Done" sort of approach to our future. Yet it feels so RIGHT. The more we open ourselves up to this new direction, the more PEACE we experience. So for now I find myself vacillating between two perspectives. A part of me wants to slow down time, to savor every single day I have here in my familiar home, with friends and family around me. But another side of me is anxious to pin on that badge. I can't wait to get that envelope that will tell us where the Lord wants us to go. I am ready to serve.

Tender Mercies

I've been thinking a lot lately about the concept of "Tender Mercies". According to the apostle David Bednar, "the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. "

I am working at being more observant, more mindful, more conscious of the many tender mercies in my life.

Some are blatantly obvious. Others are more subtle.

There are little things like what I will try to always remember as "the lesson of the notebook." Tonight I went to a church meeting for all the adult women of the church. There was a light supper of soup & salad followed by a satellite broadcast of talks by various leaders from Salt Lake City. On my way out the door I put my scriptures and a notepad and pen in my bag and headed out. Then just as I was about to go out the door I got a very firm prompting that I should go back and get a SECOND notebook and pen. I had no idea why. I just knew it was something I should do.

As I sat in the cultural hall eating and visiting with other women I forgot all about that extra notebook and the unexplainable feeling I had received to go back to get it. But when we all moved into the chapel for the presentation of the talks I found myself sitting next to a young woman I did not know. She was fretting because in her haste to get ready to come to the meeting she had forgotten to bring something to write with. She wished she would be able to take notes during the meeting. I calmly reached into my bag and handed her the extra notepad and pen I had and said to her "thank you. Now I know why I was supposed to bring these."

It was just a LITTLE thing. But it showed me all over again that even when it comes to something as simple as a woman's need for a notebook so she could record and remember important spiritual direction, the Lord was mindful of her and prepared a way that her needs would be supplied.

I know in countless ways MY needs are met through interventions such as this. Too often I fail to give credit to my creator when they do.

So I want to start paying closer attention, to deliberately seek awareness of things for which I can and should be more grateful.

There are so very many blessings in my life these days that sometimes I take many of them for granted.

I am looking forward to turning that around.

Holy Week

Several years ago I made the acquaintance of a remarkable group of people. They are the congregation of St. Silouan's Orthodox Church in Walla Walla, WA. I crossed paths with them in various ways. One was a professional colleague for a while. One was a friend from the blogoshere. One was a special friend and councilor when I was going through some tough personal times. I learned so very much from my Orthodox friends. On several occasion I attended services there and had many rich discussions with them about matters of faith. I have tremendous respect for that bunch.

Right now we are in the period called "Lent", a time of fasting and reflection leading up to Holy Week. There were years in the past when I made a point of practicing my own version of fasts and study during Lent. I did not do so this year. But I have been very conscious of the season and have thought often of my Orthodox and Catholic friends who experience it in deep and meaningful ways.

I am so grateful for the richness of my own testimony and understanding of my relationship with the creator. I do not understand why some people feel it threatens their beliefs to learn more about what other people believe.

I do not believe in trinity.
I do not believe in the need for a priest to confess to.
I do not believe in the level of ritual practiced by my my Orthodox friends.

But I absolutely have been inspired many times over by their sincere efforts to live their faith fully as they understand it. My walk with God has been made richer because of their examples.

As we approach "Holy Week" I think much of the Jesus Prayer they taught me, I remember times past when I was able to go to hear the story of St. Mary of Egypt or when I went to a Pascha celebration years ago...

Those memories are very sweet to me as we approach what I know as Easter (rather than Pascha) and gives me much to reflect on as I prepare to celebrate the reality that Christ is Risen.

Change in direction

I've drifted away from following the book I started using as a bases for posts here, but that does not mean I have drifted away from trying to find a deeper understanding of and relationship with Christ. The book has beautiful artwork and some good reflective questions, but it just isn't what my spirit resonates with right now. I'd rather be immersed directly in the scriptures themselves rather than somebody else's experience and perceptions.

So I've set it down and am returning to reading more of the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I'm also studying talks from General Conference, words of living prophets today.

I go through spurts where I feel prompted to record my thoughts and feelings here so I have it to look back at over time and then I go through periods where I prefer to simply ponder it all quietly in my heart. But whether private or public, my walk to know the Savior continues.

Day 7 of 21 Days - A Promise Without Parallel

"Inasmuch as ye are humble and faithful and call upon my name, behold, I will give you the victory." (D&C 104:8)

In today's lesson the author gives an analogy of running a 10K race as a symbol for building a strong relationship with the Savior. She says:

"Paul the Apostle has counseled us, 'Let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.' Heb 12:1-2 Each of us has been given the opportunity to run the race of life. We are given two guidelines as we run the race - to run with patience and to look to Christ. Running with patience suggests rhythm, pacing yourself, and being able to endure. Looking unto Jesus helps us understand we weren't sent to run the race alone."

I am not a runner. But still, this analogy works for me.
In 2001 I walked 60 miles in three days as part of the Avon 3-Day walk for breast cancer. Along with a little over 3,000 other people I went from Enumclaw, WA to Seattle. If you are at all familiar with that part of the country you will recognize there are some substantial hills between those two places. Also this particular walk was held in August, so it was really hot. It was a long, gruelling journey that taxed my endurance to its very edge. I spent months before hand training for this event and raising funds for the cause. Then, within the first hour after beginning the event, I had an accident. I fell.

Starting out on the walk I wanted to get a steady pace that I would be able to maintain throughout the morning. There were a lot of people filling up the road ahead of me that were going much slower than I wanted to walk. So, I tried to skirt around them. Keeping my eye on the horizon I did not realize that there was a rather abrupt drop from the edge of the pavement to a ditch below. There was tall grass that obscured the edge. When I stepped around the crowd of people I was trying to pass by my foot landed partially on the edge of the pavement and then slipped into the ditch. I seriously twisted my ankle and went tumbling down in the ditch, scraping my knees and hands.

After picking myself up and brushing myself off I determined that there was no serious damage other than a sprained ankle and some road rash. However, the prospect of walking for 60 miles in that shape was a daunting one. Several of the people around me encouraged me to give up. After all, I was injured. I couldn't really expect to keep walking with my foot like that.

I admit, for several minutes I did consider calling it quits. My foot HURT. However, I had a reason for doing that walk. My 25 yr old step daughter, Stacy, had died from cancer the year before. While her tumor had been in her chest wall and not her breast, the issue was the same for me. When she had been hurting she did not have the option of getting on the rescue van and calling it quits. I also thought of my sister-in-law, Donna, who had died from breast cancer some years before. I was not going to give up.

I teamed up with a couple from Detroit who stayed by me and encouraged me all along that long three day adventure. They comforted me when I was discouraged. They cheered me when I reached each incremental goal along the way. Step by step I stayed with it, and the victory in the end was so much sweeter because of the sacrifice I had made to get there.

In life sometimes, like that walk, we start out with grand intentions and then we fall. We find ourselves spiritually in a ditch, bruised and bleeding and sore. We can call it quits - bail out, get on the "rescue van" of abdicating our willingness to follow the path of the gospel. Or we can get up, brush ourselves off, and keep going step by excruciating step until we reach our goal.

Jesus Christ has given us many rich promises that if we will follow Him and endure to the end that we will be blessed. It isn't always easy to do what we know is right. The "natural man" quite often will make us want to quit. However, I know that through the presence of the Holy Spirit we will have the Lord's influence comforting and encouraging us on our path towards eternal life if we can just muster the courage to get up and brush ourselves off when we fall, to humble ourselves enough for true repentance and to keep going step by step.

Day 6 of 21 days - When Hope is Gone

Today's lesson is about Hope.

As I ponder the role that hope has in my life today, I cannot help but think back to some times not so long ago when I was at the end of my rope, when I felt no hope. Today I am buoyed up by hope, clearly on track for looking ahead. That was not always the case for me.

I turn to the scriptures to see what they have to say about hope... there are so many passages, both of people who clung tight to the shining star of hope to get them through their trials and those who felt hopeless.

How do we retain "a perfect brightness of hope" when everything around us seems to be crashing?

Right now my life is good. Right now I am very much aware of the many blessings I have surrounding me. It's easy to feel hopeful when I have the sun shining full on my face. However, I've lived enough years to know that somewhere down the road, maybe sooner or maybe later, there will be other dark patches to be walked through. How can I retain hope then?

I think of Christ's struggle in Gethsemane, and the disappointment he surely must have felt when his dearest disciples kept falling asleep rather than standing ready to support him.

I think of Job, and the tremendous heartache he must have felt when after all his many losses his own few remaining friends suggested he should just curse God and die.

I think of others who faced incredible sorrows, times when the light seemed very far away indeed. How do they keep hold of hope?

Then, as I pray about this and ponder it, the question shifts for me. How might I help bring hope to others who might be struggling now? How can I build reservoirs of faith and strength in my own life to sustain me so the next time I have to face a major adversity I will remember well the sense of clarity, peace and hope that I can feel now?

Part of what helps me is to REMEMBER that having trials and difficulty are part of the plan for this life. When everything goes wrong, odd as it may seem, it really does help me to recall that I'm right on schedule. I'm learning. I'm experiencing. Even if it's shattering me. Especially if it's shattering me. That's what living in this fallen mortal world is for. To learn to endure, to learn to depend on the Lord no matter what.

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ as having been a real person who indeed lived and taught people on the shores of Galilee. I also have a testimony of Him being the Son of God, and my own personal savior and redeemer.

I have a testimony that through Christ, there is every reason for HOPE.

I know there will be times it will be harder to feel that.

Today, I go on record saying that I absolutely know this to be true. Now I just HOPE that I can stick by those convictions when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, when I face losses, when it feels like all reason for hope is gone.

I found this while searching for info on Hope all over the web:

"The late Henri Nouwen wrote, “Trust is the basis of life. Without trust, no human being can live. Trapeze artists offer a beautiful image of this.
Flyers have to trust their catchers. They can do the most spectacular doubles, triples, or quadruples, but what finally makes their performance spectacular are the catchers who are there for them at the right time in the right place.

Much of our lives is flying. It is wonderful to fly in the air free as a bird, but when God isn’t there to catch us, all our flying comes to nothing. Let’s trust in the Great Catcher.”

Do you trust God with every area of your life? Hope needs trust because part of hoping in someone or something is that there is a level of trust present for such hope to exist.

What is the Holy Spirit saying you to this morning about your hope?"

Found HERE from "Establishing Your Hope in Christ" at "Le padre ver livre" a Wordpress blog credited as "a smalltown pastor's sermons, book reviews, and other thoughts."

Photo credit: Agony in the Garden by Fra Angelico c. 1450 found HERE.

Day 5 of 21 Days - Who is this Jesus?

Whom say ye that I am? - Matthew 16:15














Some of the names Jesus Christ has been known by:
The Messiah
The Holy One of Israel
The Lord of All
The High Priest of Good Things to Come
The Good Shepherd
The Prince of Peace
The Giver of Every Good Gift
The Light of the World
The Teacher
The Fount of Every Blessing
The Son of God
The Savior

Who is He to ME?

We read in the scriptures "He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. He came unto his own, and his own received him not." (John 1:10-11)

Do I fully receive him or know him?

Today's lesson speaks about the Samaritan woman at the well. She was there going about her business drawing water. What began as an ordinary task became life changing for her.

To what extent to I make room for communication with the Savior through the promptings of the Holy Ghost on a daily basis as I am doing my own mundane tasks?

In the Sacrament prayers we ask that we might ALWAYS have his spirit to be with us.
Yet so often I allow the distractions of daily life to crowd out spiritual awareness.

I DO need to earn a living. I DO need to do my daily ordinary, mundane tasks.
I cannot stop those things to immerse myself in prayer and scriptures every minute of every day. Still, how can I do a better job of keeping a prayer in my heart throughout the day? How can I draw closer to God and to the Savior so that they are with me always? What would my life be life if I did? What will it be like if I don't?

These are things I need to ponder and pray on more.....

Photo Credit: Woman at the Well by Simon Dewey found HERE

Day 4 of 21 Days - Never Stopping, Ever Searching

"The cultivation of Christlike qualities is a demanding and relentless task--it is not for the seasonal worker or for those who will not stretch themselves, again and again." -- Spencer W. Kimball

The lesson today focuses on the story of Jairus - one of the "rulers of the synagogue" whose only daughter was on the verge of death. The scriptures tell how he sought out the Savior that he might heal her. However, while he journeyed in his search, the young girl died. In the account in Mark we read of the messenger who came with the sad news, saying "Thy daughter is dead: why troublest thou the Master any Further?" However, Jesus continued on with Jairus into his house and there performed the miracle of raising the young girl back to life.

The reading about this focuses on how Jairus was relentless and single minded in searching for the savior.

And then the following challenge is posed:

"Think back on a time in your life when you had to search of the Savior to find strength beyond your own. Try to remember the process you went through in that search. Was it scripture study, more meaningful prayers, or another avenue that led you to Christ? Stretch again. Apply one of those principles today."

It is so easy to get caught up in the business of life, to focus on work and other obligations. It is all to easy to become casual in our desire to seek the Savior. Too often it is only in our extremity - such as when we are concerned for the health or safety of one of our kids or some other crisis situation that we dedicate all our energies to turning toward the Savior.

My challenge is to turn to him when there is no immedicate crisis bringing me to my knees.

Elder Craig C. Christensen of the Seventy gave a good talk in May 2003 Titled
Seek, and Ye Shall Find. In that talk Christensen councils that "as we engage our faith and commit our energy to draw closer to Jesus Christ, we begin to understand more fully who He really is."

I still have a long way to go in understanding and more completely following the teachings of Jesus Christ. The thing for me to remember is that is is the JOURNEY of seeking him out that will bless my life, not any final destination.


Photo Credit: The Raising Of Jairus' Daughter - by Ilya Yefimovich Repin 1844-1930
Found HERE

Day 3 of 21 Days - A Common Thread

Today's lesson focuses on the importance of keeping sacred records - of journaling about answers to prayer and about moments of inspiration.

This lesson quotes Spencer W. Kimball who said: "We renew our appeal for the keeping of individual histories and accounts of sacred experiences in our lives - answered prayers, inspiration from the Lord, administrations in our behalf, a record of the special times and events of our lives. From these records you can also appropriately draw as you relay faith-promoting stories in your family circles and discussions. Stories of inspiration from our own lives and those of our forebears as well as stories from our scriptures and our history are powerful teaching tools. I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to you, each other, your children, your grandchildren, and others throughout the generations." "Therefore I Was Taught" Ensign, Jan 1982, p4)

Freeman writes about studying the journal written by her husband's great-grandmother and how many members of their family have been inspired and uplifted by the record that woman left. I too have been blessed by reading the histories of others. I have enjoyed helping some of my family members compile records of their own lives. I hope in the coming year I can be more diligent about recording some of my own stories. It's time.

There are lots of articles about the value of keeping a journal. Here are just a few:
The Importance of Keeping A Journal
How To Keep A Journal
Types of Journal Writing

However, I can see real wisdom is taking special care to record the sacred parts of my life - the feelings and thoughts I experience as I study, ponder and pray so that I can establish a record of my spiritual journey. This can become an important record for my family, but also a rich resource for me to reflect back on it in times of challenge or stress. Working through the lessons in this book feels like a good way to begin that process.

A quote that particularly impressed me was from a Dec 2007 Liahona article "There Shall Be a Record Kept Among You" by Marlin K Jensen. In answer to the question of why Latter-day Saints are counseled to keep histories Jensen stated "The scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, make clear that “remembering” is a fundamental and saving principle of the gospel. We keep records to help us remember. Remembering the past gives us needed perspective as God’s children to have faith in our future destiny and thus to live more faithfully in the present."

As I read those words I could feel the truth of them. I was also reminded of a talk by Henry B. Eyring about the power of recording daily ways that the Lord touches our lives. He said: "You could ask yourself, 'How did God Bless me today?' If you do that long enough and with faith, you will find yourself remembering blessings. And sometimes you will have gifts brought to your mind which you failed to notice during the day, but which you will then know were a touch of God's hand in your life."

There are some things I will be willing to record here on this blog as I continue to work my way through the lessons of this book in the coming weeks. However there are other things that will be so deeply personal that I would not put them out on a public display. So I will begin with a new book for my personal writings and hope that in the weeks and months to follow I will be diligent in recording the things of true worth.

Day 2 of 21 Days - Take His Name

"Behold, I will lead thee by my hand, and I will take thee, to put upon thee my name." - Abraham 1:18

On page 13 Emily Freeman writes: "By partaking of the sacrament we covenant that we are willing to take upon us the name of His Son, and always remember Him, especially in our daily walk and conversation. (D&C 20:7).

King Benjamin said, "Therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ...And it shall come to pass that whosoever does this shall be found at the right hand of God, for he shall know the name by which he is called, for he shall be called by the name of Christ." (Mosiah 5: 8-9)

It has become fashionable for many women to retain their maiden names when they marry. All three of my brothers wives have felt this was an important part of honoring their own identity. Not so for me. When I married my husband nearly 30 years ago I assumed his last name. I've never believed that made me any less a person in my own right. It was instead, for me, an important symbol of our union and my new role as his wife.

What does it mean to take on the name of Christ?

Dallin Oaks gave a great talk on this topic in APRIL 1985 conference which you can read HERE (with all the proper citations for associated scriptures)

I've read through it once in detail and am now going back to read all the referenced scriptures to gain a better understanding of this complex concept.

Additional material on this subject is found in the Family Home Evening Resource Book, Lesson 13 - Baptism and the Name of Christ.

I've been pondering this some and what I keep coming back to is this...the story most associated with taking upon us the name of Christ is that of the Last Supper. I believe it is very significant that BEFORE the first sacrament, Christ got down and washed the feet of his disciples. Then he blessed the bread and the wine and taught them the doctrine of the sacrament as symbols for his body and his blood.

So I am thinking deeply about ways that I can better prepare myself for worthily partaking of the sacrament. How can I more lovingly serve, how can I more fully submit to the will of the father in full humility, to follow his example to the best of my ability?

In my mind THAT is the key to taking on His name.

I'm going to more seriously study, ponder and pray about the words to the sacrament prayers and try to establish a pattern of experiencing the sacrament with more meaning and purpose.


Account of the Last Supper - John 13: 4-15
Sacrament Prayers: D&C 20: 77-79


Photo Credit: Jesus Washing Peter's Feet by Ford Maddox Brown - 1876
Found HERE

DAY 1 of 21 Days - Come and See

THE INVITATION - Come and See...

The first passage of the 21 Days closer to Christ book talks about invitations. So, throughout this past week I have read and reflected on passages of Christ inviting us to come unto him:

3 Nephi 9:14
Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.

Ether 4:13
Come unto me, O ye Gentiles, and I will show unto you the greater things, the knowledge which is hid up because of unbelief.


Luke 9:23
¶And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Doctrine and Covenants 38:22
Wherefore, hear my voice and follow me, and you shall be a free people, and ye shall have no laws but my laws when I come, for I am your lawgiver, and what can stay my hand?


My main focus for this week has been on Mark 1:16-18.

Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.

And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.

And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him.


It is so easy to get caught up, to be more concerned with the things of this world than of the things which would bring me eternal life. It is so easy to say "just a minute, Lord, I'll be with you in a bit..." How can I be more like those fishermen who STRAIGHTWAY put down their nets and followed?

What things do I need to put down, like the fisherman's nets, in order to follow Christ?

These are things I will continue to pray over and ponder as I work my way through my 21 days(weeks) of drawing closer to Christ.

Photo credit: Jesus calls James and John while they are mending nets by O.A. Stemler Found at Biblical Art on the WWW HERE

21 Days Closer to Christ

Two or three years ago I bought the book "21 Days Closer to Christ" by Emily Freeman, with paintings by Simon Dewey. I was very impressed by the beautiful pictures and uplifting message of this book. However, I have to admit, even thought I read through most of it at the time I purchased it, I never applied the book the way it was intended.

So now I am going back to the book again, this time with a more deliberate purpose. My intent is to not just read, but STUDY, PONDER and PRAY about each of the sections in the book over a period of time.

Today for Gospel Doctrine class (adult Sunday School class for my church) I had been asked ahead of time to share a favorite scripture from the New Testament and explain why it was meaningful for me.

The passage I turned to was Mark 1:16-18 which says: "now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew- his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men. And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him."

In the margin of that page I had written:
What things do I need to put down like the fisherman's nets in order to follow Christ? How can I straightway forsake all that stands in my way?

I spoke about the importance of not just removing myself from sin and evil, but also of recognizing when GOOD and WORTHY things may be taking so much of my time, focus and attention that I lose sight of what is eternal. I talked about how this scripture reminds me of the danger of distraction. While I cannot just walk away from earning a living at this point, I CAN walk away from having my thoughts focused so much on things of this world.

When I read this for the class I noticed that over at the top of the page I had written: Day One: 3/8/08 - "Come and See..." Apparently back then I had started out studying the scriptures with the Freeman book as a guide. Unfortunately, I know I never got very far with it. I plan to do better this time.

Over on Mind-Muffins, my primary blog, I recently wrote a post about the power of persistence. Too many times in the past I've started various projects or goals but have given up on them when they got frustrating or difficult. As we begin a new year I am deliberately NOT setting myself up with any specific resolutions, mostly because of all the many times in the past I've started out with grand hopes and plans only to watch myself dwindle in resolve when I got too busy, too bored, too distracted or too frustrated either by lack of immediate results or mediocre outcomes from my early attempts.

If there is one area in my life I would really like to improve it is this -I want to become more consistent and develop greater follow through on the things that I start. I want to strengthen my ability to "endure to the end."

I managed to stick with it on my sock project. I know how rewarding it was in that case simply to start out with a worthwhile goal and see it through to completion, even though there were times I really did want to quit. Strengthening my knowledge about and testimony of Jesus Christ has the potential to be far more powerful in my life that creating fuzzy socks. So in this I am determined to stay with it this time all the way to the end.

I am beginning again with mindful, deliberate study of the scriptures, following the outline of this book. By incorporating what I learn from this study into my blog it will give me a level of accountability - as well as a record I can refer back to later. However, rather than trying once more to do something I know I'm not likely to follow through on consistently, this time I am going to go about it just a bit differently to be a better fit for my life. Instead of doing this every single day, I am going to focus on one section each Sunday after church. When I have the time and the interest I will post on other days throughout the week. But I am COMMITTING to doing it AT LEAST every Sunday.

This feels like a good way to start out the new year...way better than the stacks of resolutions that in the past have gone flapping in the wind by Valentine's Day.

So I begin with the Invitation spoken of so often in the scriptures, and in the hymn "If With All Your Hearts" (Children's Songbook 15):
"If with all your hearts ye truly seek me,
Ye shall ever surely find me,
Thus saith our God."

D&C 86:63
"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

Psalms 105:4
"Seek the Lord, and his strength: seek his face evermore."

Jeremiah 29:13
And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

Praying with all my might

One of my very dearest friends on this planet is having some major health challenges. She has clearly been walking step by step through the refiner's fire. Tomorrow she will have a medical procedure that we are all hoping will bring her some relief from the unrelenting, excruciating pain which has been her burden for some time now. Will it work? No way to know. So tonight and tomorrow I will pray for her with each and every breath. Breath in - Dear father - Breath out - be with my friend. Breath in - Dear father - Breath out - be with my friend.
It's times like this that saying "Thy will be done" is especially difficult.
I just want her well. Even though I trust that God does know what is best and it will all work out however it is supposed to, I just want her well. Even though I accept that pain and adversity are intended pieces of this fallen mortal world, I just want her well. So I breath...Dear father... be with my friend. I hope for comfort, I hope for healing. But no matter what else happens, I hope for her whole spirit to be suffused with love. Breath in, breath out. Hold fast to prayer with each and every breath. Dear father... be with my friend.

Flames and Faith

I was saddened by the fire that burned the Provo Tabernacle the other day. However, as the clean up begins an intriguing story came out. Apparently the image of Jesus Christ from the classic picture of Second Coming of Christ did not burn even though everything around it went up in flames. Some are calling it a "Christmas Miracle". I don't see it quite that way. Still, it DID serve to remind me that even when it feels like our lives are going up in flames with all the problems of this fallen mortal world, so long as we stay focused on our faith in Jesus Christ we will be able to endure.

Christmas on Temple Square

My beloved and I are in Salt Lake for a holiday get away. Tonight we walked all over Temple Square seeing the magnificent light display and then walked through the visitor center. We watched several of the short films about various stories of the Book of Mormon. We also walked through the Tabernacle - and that's where the spirit hit me hard.

We were there during a down time so there wasn't anything particular going on. No concert. No speaker. Still, just being there in this amazing historical building where every prophet since Brigham Young has had an opportunity to speak felt signficant. I could feel the cumulative truth of the words that have been spoken in that room so strongly I could not help but weep. As I stood there looking up at the amazing pipe organ I thought of different talks I have heard from various conferences over the past 30 years and felt all over again a deep strength from that council that has sustained me and guided me in so many ways.

Too often I get into a rut in my church activity...going through the motions of leading a reasonably righteous LDS life, but losing sight of the power that is the core truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Yet every now and then I have these peak spiritual experiences when I feel the presence of God in my life in such an undeniably tangible way. I have these sacred opportunities to feel the witness of the Holy Ghost bearing the absolute truth of the teachings to my mind and heart in a manner that awakens my spirit with a sense of coming home. That's when I am reminded all the way to my bones of why I am trying in my fumbling mortal way to follow these teachings.


As we stood before the Christus statue I was able to spend several minutes in quiet reflection, and I was impressed with some answers to prayers that have been in my heart for several weeks. I was humbled by the certainty of the reality of the atonement, and of an overwhelming sense of the Savior's love.

I know that I will continue to cycle in and cycle out of feeling this special sort of closeness to my Heavenly Father. There will still be times I will get caught up with the concerns of every day life and be consumed with things of this world. But I also know that there will be a part of me that will hold on to this moment, just like I do other similar sacred witnesses I have felt over the years. Times like this carry me through to help me always remember the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true and that I am a child of God. It's real.

What a special gift to get this Christmas season...such a fierce reminder of why we have Christmas at all. It's not just a charming story. It happened. Thank you Heavenly Father for giving me these moments. Help me hold on to them. Help me not forget.

Finding Kindred Spirits

I just stumbled on a new blog that I am VERY impressed with.

It is We Seek After These Things

It is a group writing project by some valiant women who aim to keep the spirit in their lives. You can bet I will be going back there again to do more reading of earlier posts. Already I can tell there are some real gems there!

Sanctity of Marriage

I believe in eternal marriage. I believe in making sacred covenants to cleave to one man throughout my whole life and throughout all eternity.

One of the things that sets the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints apart from other faiths is our belief in marriage for "time and all eternity". In a time in our society when many think marriage is passe', we believe very strongly in the sanctity of marriage not just "till death do you part" but forever.

Perhaps the basic belief in enduring bonds is not that unusual. I've talked to lots of people from other faiths (or no faith at all) who say they believe they will be with their spouse and family in the hereafter. I've heard it said that they believe their love will endure beyond this mortal walk on earth. However, for the LDS faith, it is a key part of our doctrine. We believe that when worthy men and women area "sealed" as husband and wife in the holy temples, we truly are united for eternity.

HOWEVER.... that does not mean our marriages are bullet proof. Not by a long shot. Living with another person is wonderful and joyful and sometimes just plain hard.

All marriages have good times and tough times. The trick is to learn how to navigate the challenges with grace, humor and compassion for one another so that we can continue the journey to get the joy of the good parts.

Tonight my husband and I went to a church meeting intended for married couples where a marriage counselor gave a really amazing talk on how to build strong unions. The presenter made a key distinction that I think is absolutely vital. He spoke abut COMMITMENT being the critical base of all relationships, with communication coming after that. I agree. While being able to effectively communicate in a relationship is extremely important, if we are not committed to one another and to the union, all the best communication in the word will not save us.

Our Bishop also spoke at the meeting, relaying the story of his grandparents and all the things he learned about healthy marriages from them. He cautioned us to beware of the "deal breakers". Things he spoke of that can ruin a marriage included:

One spouse trying to control or dominate the other
infidelity
selfishness
unrealistic expectations

As he was speaking I thought of my own marriage of 29 years. I LOVE my sweet husband. Yet I know there have been times I have been selfish. I know there have been times I have had unrealistic expectations.

Those are things I can work on in order to improve the strength of our marriage.

Because I am in this for the long haul.
I am in this for keeps.

I am absolutely committed to this marriage for time and all eternity.
What an amazing blessing that is!

Provident Living - Pursuit of Excellence

One of the things I appreciate most about my faith is the many ways it encourages me to set and reach for worthy goals. I've been looking through some old files of mine and pulled out a list of standards that I worked on in a very deliberate way a few years back. Some of the goals I set then I've accomplished entirely. Some I made significant progress on but never QUITE hit the mark I had hoped for. A few things I floundered in hopelessly.

I think it is time for me to polish off some of these, review them, and see where they fit into my life now.




AREA 1: LITERACY & EDUCATION

The STANDARD = To the extent of his/her capacity, each person is able to read, write and do basic mathematics. S/he regularly studies the scriptures and other good books. Parents teach these skills and habits to family members, and both parents and children take advantage of educational opportunities.



>AREA 2: CAREER DEVELOPMENT


The STANDARD = Each young person receives counsel to help select a career in which s/he can use his/her talents and skills in meaningful employment. Each person selects a suitable vocation and becomes proficient through appropriate training.




AREA 3: FINANCIAL & RESOURCE MANAGEMENT



The STANDARD = Each person establishes financial goals, pays tithes and offerings, avoids debt, pays obligations, uses family resources wisely, and saves during times of plenty for times of need.





AREA 4: HOME PRODUCTION & STORAGE












The STANDARD = Each person or family produces as much as possible through gardening, sewing, and making household items. Each person and family learns techniques of home canning, freezing and drying foods and, where legally permitted, stores a one-year supply of food, clothing, and, if possible, fuel.



AREA 5: PHYSICAL HEALTH







The STANDARD = Each person obeys the Word of Wisdom and practices sound principles of nutrition, physical fitness, weight control, immunization, sanitation, mother and child health, accident prevention, dental health and medical care. Members live in a healthy and clean environment. In addition, each member acquires appropriate skills in first aid safety, home nursing and food selection and preparation.


AREA 6: Social / Emotional & Spiritual Strength

The STANDARD = Each person builds spiritual strength to meet life's challenges with confidence and stability by learning to love God and communicate with Him in personal prayer; to love and serve his/her neighbor, and to love and respect her/himself through righteous living and self mastery. Social emotional and spiritual strength is increased by living the principles of the gospel.

Conference Sunday

What would you do if you heard that there was an opportunity to hear Moses, Ezekiel, Daniel or Jonah or some of the other biblical prophets giving talks at a local venue? What sacrifice would you be willing to make to be sure you were there?
This weekend I am going to have that very sort of opportunity. It will not be BIBLICAL prophets. It will be living, breathing modern day prophets. While that may lack some of the novelty of hearing from Noah or Joshua, to my way of thinking, that has even more value since they will be prepared to address folks about the challenges of TODAY.

One of the unique characteristics of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we believe that God speaks to prophets today much the same as he did anciently. We sustain the presidents of our church as prophets. We believe they truly receive messages from God which are meant for all the world. We also consider the members of the Quorum of the Twelve to be prophets, seers and revelators.
I have had many experiences of listening to these inspired leaders and have felt the witness of the Holy Ghost telling me their words were true and truly from God.

Some may think that is just more than a little wacko. For me, it is something very sacred.

This weekend my church will be holding a world-wide conference, which they do twice a year. Speakers from among the general authorities (meaning leaders whose assignment is worldwide rather than specific to a particular area) will address us from the conference center at Salt Lake City. It will be broadcast live by satellite, TV, radio and internet to hundreds of countries throughout the world. Some will get a delayed recorded feed with translation. In addition, the messages given will be written and printed in the Ensign magazine, which can be accessed both in print and online at lds.org

This conference isn’t just another church meeting. It truly is a gathering of prophets giving the precise council to the world that the Lord has inspired them to know as what is most needful for this time. I think that is pretty significant.

Different people have different attitudes about general conference. For some, it is treated like an LDS holiday. It is one of the few Sundays when people don’t have to worry about preparing lessons or doing their “calling”, whatever work assignment they may have in the church which could range from leading music to tending the library, caring for toddlers in nursery or counting the number of people who attend sacrament. Because it is so easy to access the messages later, a lot of people skip out on conference Sundays. I’ve certainly been known to be among that group.

In years past, I must admit, I found conference to be pretty boring. It was just a bunch of old white men (for the most part) talking on and on and on about things I had already heard a hundred times.
Pray.
Read Your Scriptures.
Pay Tithing.
Follow the commandments.

There was nothing sparkling or new.

So, way more times than I care to admit, I would pass on the live sessions of conference, with the best of intentions of viewing it later, or at the very least reading the messages with they came out in Ensign. Sometimes I followed up. Sometimes I did not.

In recent years, however, my attitude has changed about general conference.
Now I find myself getting genuinely EXCITED at the prospect of hearing these messages.

This time I am working to prepare myself to be open, ready, alert and worthy to not only hear what these leaders will share, but especially to get my own witness from the Holy Spirit of the truth of those words.

I believe in living prophets.

I believe they will have a message that will apply specifically to ME, that will help me to address the challenges in my own life – perhaps even some things I have confided to no one, but which surely my creator knows.

The degree to which I will receive those answers will be directly proportional to the extent to which I come to conference SEEKING personal revelation and ready to be led.

I am so grateful for the modern technology which allows me to sit in the comfort of my home and listen to living prophets.

I am eager to discover what it is that God has in store for me and for the world right now.

Windex Lessons

Today I spent some time cleaning the church where I worship each Sunday.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints there is no paid ministry.
In like manner, most of the janitorial duties done at the thousands of chapels and temples throughout the world are done by assignment to the the members who benefit from those buildings rather than by someone paid to do the job.

I like that.

I believe by having a system wherein the members themselves take care of the buildings they worship in helps us to better appreciate the blessing those buildings are.

Beyond that, there are plenty of other lessons I learn every time I go to clean at the church or in the temple.

For one, the rooms I vacuum are never really all that dirty. Oh sure, there are the occasional dust bunnies or a bit of chalk dust. Sometimes the primary room has some left over glitter or cracker crumbs. But for the most part, (especially in the temple) I am vacuuming rooms that to the casual glance appear pretty clean.

That serves as a reminder to me to be vigilant in maintaining cleanliness in my heart and mind on a regular basis rather than waiting for a big bad stain.

Another thing I learn is that my service is accepted even when it is not perfect. Today I spent quite a bit of time trying to get the hard water stains off the glass in one of the entry ways. The sprinkler system splashes there and it has left sediment on one of the side panels around the door. I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. It looks better. But it still has hard water spots that I can see.

I gave it my best effort. That's all God ever expects.

Giving service is a large part of what living my religion is for me. I'm truly grateful I had the opportunity to do this work at the chapel today. Now if I can just train my heart to feel that much joy in scrubbing my own floors....