Provident Living - Pursuit of Excellence

One of the things I appreciate most about my faith is the many ways it encourages me to set and reach for worthy goals. I've been looking through some old files of mine and pulled out a list of standards that I worked on in a very deliberate way a few years back. Some of the goals I set then I've accomplished entirely. Some I made significant progress on but never QUITE hit the mark I had hoped for. A few things I floundered in hopelessly.

I think it is time for me to polish off some of these, review them, and see where they fit into my life now.




AREA 1: LITERACY & EDUCATION

The STANDARD = To the extent of his/her capacity, each person is able to read, write and do basic mathematics. S/he regularly studies the scriptures and other good books. Parents teach these skills and habits to family members, and both parents and children take advantage of educational opportunities.



>AREA 2: CAREER DEVELOPMENT


The STANDARD = Each young person receives counsel to help select a career in which s/he can use his/her talents and skills in meaningful employment. Each person selects a suitable vocation and becomes proficient through appropriate training.




AREA 3: FINANCIAL & RESOURCE MANAGEMENT



The STANDARD = Each person establishes financial goals, pays tithes and offerings, avoids debt, pays obligations, uses family resources wisely, and saves during times of plenty for times of need.





AREA 4: HOME PRODUCTION & STORAGE












The STANDARD = Each person or family produces as much as possible through gardening, sewing, and making household items. Each person and family learns techniques of home canning, freezing and drying foods and, where legally permitted, stores a one-year supply of food, clothing, and, if possible, fuel.



AREA 5: PHYSICAL HEALTH







The STANDARD = Each person obeys the Word of Wisdom and practices sound principles of nutrition, physical fitness, weight control, immunization, sanitation, mother and child health, accident prevention, dental health and medical care. Members live in a healthy and clean environment. In addition, each member acquires appropriate skills in first aid safety, home nursing and food selection and preparation.


AREA 6: Social / Emotional & Spiritual Strength

The STANDARD = Each person builds spiritual strength to meet life's challenges with confidence and stability by learning to love God and communicate with Him in personal prayer; to love and serve his/her neighbor, and to love and respect her/himself through righteous living and self mastery. Social emotional and spiritual strength is increased by living the principles of the gospel.

Conference Sunday

What would you do if you heard that there was an opportunity to hear Moses, Ezekiel, Daniel or Jonah or some of the other biblical prophets giving talks at a local venue? What sacrifice would you be willing to make to be sure you were there?
This weekend I am going to have that very sort of opportunity. It will not be BIBLICAL prophets. It will be living, breathing modern day prophets. While that may lack some of the novelty of hearing from Noah or Joshua, to my way of thinking, that has even more value since they will be prepared to address folks about the challenges of TODAY.

One of the unique characteristics of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we believe that God speaks to prophets today much the same as he did anciently. We sustain the presidents of our church as prophets. We believe they truly receive messages from God which are meant for all the world. We also consider the members of the Quorum of the Twelve to be prophets, seers and revelators.
I have had many experiences of listening to these inspired leaders and have felt the witness of the Holy Ghost telling me their words were true and truly from God.

Some may think that is just more than a little wacko. For me, it is something very sacred.

This weekend my church will be holding a world-wide conference, which they do twice a year. Speakers from among the general authorities (meaning leaders whose assignment is worldwide rather than specific to a particular area) will address us from the conference center at Salt Lake City. It will be broadcast live by satellite, TV, radio and internet to hundreds of countries throughout the world. Some will get a delayed recorded feed with translation. In addition, the messages given will be written and printed in the Ensign magazine, which can be accessed both in print and online at lds.org

This conference isn’t just another church meeting. It truly is a gathering of prophets giving the precise council to the world that the Lord has inspired them to know as what is most needful for this time. I think that is pretty significant.

Different people have different attitudes about general conference. For some, it is treated like an LDS holiday. It is one of the few Sundays when people don’t have to worry about preparing lessons or doing their “calling”, whatever work assignment they may have in the church which could range from leading music to tending the library, caring for toddlers in nursery or counting the number of people who attend sacrament. Because it is so easy to access the messages later, a lot of people skip out on conference Sundays. I’ve certainly been known to be among that group.

In years past, I must admit, I found conference to be pretty boring. It was just a bunch of old white men (for the most part) talking on and on and on about things I had already heard a hundred times.
Pray.
Read Your Scriptures.
Pay Tithing.
Follow the commandments.

There was nothing sparkling or new.

So, way more times than I care to admit, I would pass on the live sessions of conference, with the best of intentions of viewing it later, or at the very least reading the messages with they came out in Ensign. Sometimes I followed up. Sometimes I did not.

In recent years, however, my attitude has changed about general conference.
Now I find myself getting genuinely EXCITED at the prospect of hearing these messages.

This time I am working to prepare myself to be open, ready, alert and worthy to not only hear what these leaders will share, but especially to get my own witness from the Holy Spirit of the truth of those words.

I believe in living prophets.

I believe they will have a message that will apply specifically to ME, that will help me to address the challenges in my own life – perhaps even some things I have confided to no one, but which surely my creator knows.

The degree to which I will receive those answers will be directly proportional to the extent to which I come to conference SEEKING personal revelation and ready to be led.

I am so grateful for the modern technology which allows me to sit in the comfort of my home and listen to living prophets.

I am eager to discover what it is that God has in store for me and for the world right now.

Windex Lessons

Today I spent some time cleaning the church where I worship each Sunday.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints there is no paid ministry.
In like manner, most of the janitorial duties done at the thousands of chapels and temples throughout the world are done by assignment to the the members who benefit from those buildings rather than by someone paid to do the job.

I like that.

I believe by having a system wherein the members themselves take care of the buildings they worship in helps us to better appreciate the blessing those buildings are.

Beyond that, there are plenty of other lessons I learn every time I go to clean at the church or in the temple.

For one, the rooms I vacuum are never really all that dirty. Oh sure, there are the occasional dust bunnies or a bit of chalk dust. Sometimes the primary room has some left over glitter or cracker crumbs. But for the most part, (especially in the temple) I am vacuuming rooms that to the casual glance appear pretty clean.

That serves as a reminder to me to be vigilant in maintaining cleanliness in my heart and mind on a regular basis rather than waiting for a big bad stain.

Another thing I learn is that my service is accepted even when it is not perfect. Today I spent quite a bit of time trying to get the hard water stains off the glass in one of the entry ways. The sprinkler system splashes there and it has left sediment on one of the side panels around the door. I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. It looks better. But it still has hard water spots that I can see.

I gave it my best effort. That's all God ever expects.

Giving service is a large part of what living my religion is for me. I'm truly grateful I had the opportunity to do this work at the chapel today. Now if I can just train my heart to feel that much joy in scrubbing my own floors....

Paradigm Shift

"...for as a flame increases when it is constantly fed, so prayer, made often, with the mind dwelling ever more deeply in God, arouses divine love in the heart."

I've been thinking a lot lately about prayer.

The above quote is from a book titled "The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology" - compiled by Iguman Chariton of Valamo, Translated by E. Kadloubovsky and E.M. Palmer, edited by Timothy Ware. (which all makes for a rather complicated footnote, to say the least.)

In Thesalonians 5:17 we are exhorted to "pray without ceasing".

But what does prayer really mean to me?
Do I expect my faithful prayers to significantly alter the outcome of circumstances in my life? In the past, I would have clearly said yes to that. More recently, however, I've begun to wonder.

Lately I've come to think that prayers are NOT to shift what happens TO me,
but rather what happens IN me.

For many years I've said the words "thy will be done" at the conclusion of many of my prayers. But I doubt I've ever really, truly MEANT those words. What I wanted, what I EXPECTED, was that if I was good enough and had enough faith, Heavenly Father would smile down upon me and grant me my wish, so long as it was a righteous desire.

I knew it would be inappropriate to pray for a Mazaradi. But I believed it was ok to pray for safety, pray for either myself or someone close to me to be healed from sickness, pray for things I really needed.

Sometimes those things did come. Sometimes they didn't.

What made the difference? Was it that mysterious thing named "God's Will"? Was it how much faith I exherted? Was it just random?

At different times I've believe it was each of these.

Recently there was something I prayed for with all the intent of my heart. It was something I felt was a righteous desire, something that would bless the life of a person very dear to me. I put all my faith on the line for this. It did not happen.

I was crushed. I was beyond disappointed. I was devastated that this did not come to pass.

Now, I have had LOTS of experience with wanting something, NOT getting it, and then recognizing at some later point that it was actually a GOOD thing that the answer had been NO to that particular prayer. While I am not a country music fan, I have long appreciated the Garth Brooks song that says:
"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.
Remember when your talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."

Truly, as the Brooks song later says: "I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all." I know this with every fiber of my being, even when this thing I prayed for so fervently STILL seems like the right thing. I cannot, at this point, see any way that the person I love or anyone else involved is better off as a result of how things turned out. I still grieve for the missed opportunity. But I GET IT that I have a limited, finite view of things. I do not know what is for the best in the ETERNAL perspective.

So these days I am shifting my prayers quite a bit. I am no longer praying that I get a certain job or that my infertile friend will conceive or that my children or grandchildren will have certain blessings in their life. I still want those things. But I am not asking for any of them anymore.

For a while I was not asking because I was mad at God.
But I got over that.

Now I am not asking because I am acknowledging that I really and truly cannot see what is for the best. While there are plenty of things I WISH would happen, that I HOPE will happen, stuff I long for and dream about... I am crystal clear that being COMFORTABLE or SAFE or HAPPY or HEALTHY in this moment are not always the things I need.

So now when I pray I'm trying to bring only two things to the table.
#1 is gratitude for all the many blessing I already do have.
#2 is asking for ACCEPTANCE of whatever God's will for me may be.

God knows my heart. He knows what I want. Sometimes I will lay those out there...but I try to do it in such a way as to say: as I am consumed with the desire for XYZ, please help me accept whatever thy will may be.

In the great example prayer that Jesus Christ gave, He said "Give us this day our daily bread" and "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

This shows me that it is appropriate to ask God to have our basic needs met and to go to him for protection.

Still, I think for way too much of my life I've treated prayer presumptuously.
I believed that if I asked, God would provide (within reason).

Now I am more sure than ever that even though there will be lots of times God will not give me what I long for with all my heart, even though he will not always make things clear or comfortable or turn out with happy endings in this life

ETERNALLY the creator of this world does have a plan and is mindful of me. I can trust that even when I cannot see it or understand.

Trust In the Lord With All Your Heart

Proverbs 3:5 says: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding."

I believe in God. I really do. TRUST is a harder thing for me to accomplish.

I have no doubt that God is real. I have no doubt that God is all powerful. I believe that God CAN do anything. I'm not always so sure that the actions God WILL take are going to be what I would recognize as "Good" for me.

I generally believe that in the ETERNAL sense of the grand plan, all things collectively work together for good. But I strongly suspect that along the way of accomplishing all that good, sometimes individual lives must cope with all sorts of chaos, confusion and suffering. And that scares me. While I accept that God knows and loves me, I know from experience that in the interest of preserving free agency (both my own and that of others), and as a consequence of the fallen nature of this mortal world, horrible things will be allowed to occur in my life no matter how good or how faithful I may be.

So just what is it I am supposed to TRUST? Trust that He knows what is best for me? Trust that even when crummy stuff happens He can turn it into something good, even something holy?

YES.

Still, I struggle a lot with sorting out how much I should simply surrender to my life, being content to bear witness and learn from whatever unfolds there, and how much I should go all pro-active, deliberately striving to shape and mold the direction I will go in.

I really do believe that God has a plan for me. He just hasn't chosen to share the details of exactly what that entails. So I must stand in the face of tremendous uncertainty and ambivalence. I am now at a crossroads in my life once more - trying to decide what sort of work I will do and where in the country I will choose to live.

Does it matter to God if I am a teacher or a plumber or a social worker or a sales clerk? I don't really think so. Does he care if I live in Oregon or Arizona, Idaho or Alaska? I'm not sure.

Sometimes I think that events have been put into place specifically in order to guide me to a different situation where I will be able to influence and/or be influenced by particular people I need to come in contact with. Other times that seems pretty arrogant. Surely God has plenty of other people fit to do whatever job that needs doing in other places and it seems to stand to reason that there is plenty of important work I could accomplish right here were I am now. Why would I think I am so uniquely qualified or necessary to carry out some specific part of His plan somewhere else?

I honestly don't know what to think.

Did God influence the mergers of multi-national corporations so we would experience a transfer from Arizona to Ohio where my testimony of the gospel found fertile ground for growth? Was it God's hand at work when company changes came again, sending us this time to Michigan where my sweet husband served as Branch President for seven and a half years and had many opportunities to be a force for good among the people he served? Or does God simply USE rather than orchestrate events? Maybe stuff just happens and God then takes whatever circumstances occur to accomplish His will.

Does it matter which is which?

I just flat out do not know.

I want to TRUST that God will guide me and then provide the requisite opportunities I need to do whatever it is He wants me to do. However, I don't always have confidence I will recognize that guidance when it comes.

One of my core beliefs is that faith and fear cannot co-exist. One will always push out the other. I want to live my life focused on FAITH. That, more than anything else, is what I am working to do. But TRUST...that is a totally different kettle of fish, and really, really hard for me. There is much about trusting which I have yet to learn.

In the coming months, I have no doubt that the lessons will appear...

I Believe In Christ

This morning I was exploring around the website JesusChrist.lds.org which is a relatively new tool my church has developed to proclaim to the world what it is we believe about Jesus Christ. It's a great resource!

There is so much uncertainty in the world... now, more than ever I think it matters that I hold on tight to the one thing I KNOW I can be sure of: God lives. He is real. He is the creator of this world, this universe, and my spirit. He knows me on a very specific, personal, individual level and He cares about the choices I make. He has my best interest at heart. He wants me to be all I was created to be.

There is a great deal I do not know, but this I know for sure. God lives.

One of my very favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon is Mosiah 4:9 which says:
"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. "

That's for sure. But it's totally ok that I do not comprehend it all, because HE does. When I am lost, I know that HE will help me find my way.

Forgiveness Sunday

Today is called "Forgiveness Sunday" among my Orthodox friends. At the beginning of Lent each year they practice a formal ritual of asking each other's forgiveness for any offence, discourtesy or disrespect which may have come between them over the past year. This prepares them well for the sacrament of Penance when they ask the Lord to forgive their sins, which forgiveness will be granted us only if we ourselves forgive each other. "If ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matt. 6.14, 15)"

Also on this Sunday there is a commemoration of the expulsion of Adam and Eve from paradise.

Adam was banished from Paradise through disobedience
and cast out from delight,
beguiled by the words of a woman.
Naked he sat outside the garden, lamenting 'Woe is me!'
Therefore let us all make haste to accept the season of the Fast
and hearken to the teaching of the Gospel,
that we may gain Christ's mercy
and receive once more a dwelling-place in Paradise.

(Sticheron from Lord I have cried, 6th tone, Forgiveness Sunday)

During the 40 days of Lent, those who observe the fast will eat no meat, milk, cheese, eggs or other dairy products. From Forgiveness Sunday until Pascha there are other physical sacrifices made as well. However, the teaching about this that is most powerful to me says: "The services of the church and the fathers stress over and over that our physical fast from food is useless if we do not also strive to "fast" from our iniquities. Fasting from food is an important aid to the help purify the soul, and to gain in virtue." (http://www.orthodox.net/questions/forgiveness_sunday_1.html#a4)

I am not Orthodox. But my own spiritual walk has been deeply enriched by learning about Lent. Today I begin my own Fast and shift my thoughts to increased prayer and study, in an effort to draw closer to the Savior, and through His sacred atonement to release myself from my sins.

My practice of Lent will look quite different than those of my Orthodox buddies. But the intent and the inner workings of the journey will have much in common.

Last night went to Stake Conference of my own faith where we were taught by the visiting General Authority, Elder Glenn Pace.

Part of what I got out of the conference is a better understanding of this basic teaching: Scriptures are not the most important avenue to truth. They are the PRELIMINARY to that truth, which is personal revelation. It is through the feelings we get from the Holy Ghost that we come to understand truth at its deepest level. It is important that we study sacred things and fill our mind with the teachings of the prophets, but that is simply like laying the kindling in preparation to light a fire. The Holy Spirit is the one who lights the fire within us to bring us enlightenment and truth, not the culmination of intellectual study of even the most serious scripture scholar. As we immerse ourselves in prayer and scripture study we will open our minds and hearts to receive personal revelation from on high, and over time we can school ourselves in how to recognize it, how to fully receive it, and when we do we must also learn how to follow it.

It is my hope that over the next 40 days of this season of Great Lent I will be able to follow that council. I will try to fine the courage, humility, and determination to do what I need to do to set aside the concerns of the world and open up my own spirit to whatever it is that my Heavenly Father would have me know.

I have two particular tools that I will be using during this time: the book 21 Days Closer to Christ by Emily Freeman and the Jesus Prayer.

This is what Deseret Book has to say about 21 Days: "Nestled between the covers of this beautifully illustrated book is an invitation--an invitation to come closer to Christ through a 21-day journey. Each step of the journey introduces a new concept that will help you come to know and recognize the hand of the Lord in your life. With an emphasis on daily scripture study and personal prayer, each chapter concludes with an assignment designed to help you apply and personalize concepts such as humility, gratitude, and listening to the Spirit. In the rush of everyday life, this unique book provides a refreshing pause and the opportunity to focus our efforts on becoming closer to Christ."

I picked this up at the LDS bookstore in Mesa when we were in AZ for my stepson's wedding. I've flipped through it some and been touched by the beauty of the artwork, inspired by the way the assignments are laid out. I am looking forward to digging in to the meat of it.

Then, my other tool will be the Jesus Prayer. This is something I learned from one of my Orthodox pals, Thomas R.: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner."

Overall I plan to spend more time in prayer in the coming weeks, and to make those prayers more meaningful. But aside from that assigned time in the quiet of my bedroom when I come to my knees, I will strive to keep the words of the Jesus Prayer in my mind throughout each day, silently repeating it as a backdrop to all that I do.

I have much to reflect on in coming to better undertand repentence and forgiveness.
Even though I don't do the ritual that took place today at St. Silouan and countless other Orthodox congregations around the world - I acknowledge that I need to ask for forgiveness for much.

Of the several blogs I write on this is the least read by others...so even though it is available publicly I don't really think of the things I say as meant for anyone but me. Still, for any of my friends or family who may stumble by...I ask for your forgiveness.

Whatever it is that you believe - be it bunnies and chocolate in baskets or the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, may your Easter/Pascha season be blessed.