Preparing to Serve

My husband and I have made the decision to submit our papers to serve a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That single sentence represents a huge leap of faith and complete shift of the focus of my life. For most of the 32 years we have been married, we have talked about "Someday" going on a mission. Somehow, though, I always thought it would be AFTER I was done with my career. Here's the catch. My husband is 12 years older than I am. By the time I am 60, he will be 72. We just don't want to wait that long, recognizing that with each passing year his chances of being strong and healthy are a bit less assured. We want to go now when we have the ability to travel where ever in the world the Lord might send us and the stamina to do the work that is asked of us. We've talked about it a lot. We have prayed about it. It just feels right. Now is our time. Granted, I can think of any number of reasons NOT to go, or at least not to go right now. It does not make "logical" sense. To my non-member friends and family, it appears somewhat irresponsible to forfeit the work I am now fully immersed in. But we have a different measure of success. Yes, leaving at this time will mean we will tap into our retirement savings several years before we had planned to. It means we will have less of a parachute for the future. We also will miss out on time spent with our grand kids who are very precious to us. However, we are ready to put those considerations aside and just GO. After most of my adult life having been spent in "take charge" mode, running organizations, planing events, accomplishing things well recognized by the world it is a huge switch to release all that and submit to a "Thy Will Be Done" sort of approach to our future. Yet it feels so RIGHT. The more we open ourselves up to this new direction, the more PEACE we experience. So for now I find myself vacillating between two perspectives. A part of me wants to slow down time, to savor every single day I have here in my familiar home, with friends and family around me. But another side of me is anxious to pin on that badge. I can't wait to get that envelope that will tell us where the Lord wants us to go. I am ready to serve.